There’s this feeling that overtakes most moms almost every day…mom guilt.
We feel guilty because we want to do something and can’t. We feel guilty because something happened that we didn’t want to happen. We feel guilty because we don’t spend the amount of time we want to spend with our families. And the list goes on…
The last example is one that is extremely prevalent with most BOSS Moms. There’s simply never enough time to do what you need to do as a leader AND spend the time you want with your children. What’s a mom to do when you want to be a boss and an awesome mom at the same time?
Speaking from my experience, one thing I found I had to do was to give myself grace. Being kind to myself allowed me to recognize I am doing the best I can to give ample time to the things that are important to me, including my business. Once I was gentler with myself and stopped beating myself up, the next thing I did was figure out what balance looked like for me.
By balance, I don’t mean equal time. That’s just not realistic on most days as some things demand more of your attention. Balance for me is more like equal comfort in my effort. Once I got clear on my definition of balance, I felt better about my choices and my guilt was greatly reduced.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments when I can hear my kids laughing while I’m on my laptop and feel guilty that I’m not enjoying the moment with them. But then I remember that the current moment requires intense effort and focus. Later, I’ll be able to turn into the “tickle monster” with similar intensity and enjoy the sounds of laughter again. Equal effort saves the day!
One other technique I found helpful to assuage me of mommy guilt was talking to other BOSS Moms. Knowing that I was not alone in the struggle helped me a great deal. It also allowed me to build a community that I could draw inspiration and support when needed. Whether it’s Facebook groups aligned with my particular interest, a neighborhood Slack group, or good old friends who I’ve known for years, these groups have helped me keep my sanity and not feel guilty when I have moments. The groups have truly become my lifeline and I’m so grateful!
The moral of the story is to not succumb to mommy guilt. Be kind to yourself, find your balance, and lean on others who understand your circumstances. The next thing you’ll know, your guilt will be a thing of the past!
Don’t forget to share this series with the Boss Moms in your life!