Finding a balance between assertiveness and empathy can be challenging in leadership, especially for women of color leaders in higher education who may navigate unique pressures. Assertiveness is essential for setting boundaries, driving progress, and establishing authority. However, empathy fosters collaboration, understanding, and respect within a team. Women of color in leadership roles may feel the tension of navigating these qualities—often under a microscope and with high expectations.

By embracing assertiveness and empathy, you can create a balanced, inclusive approach to leadership that fosters respect, trust, and progress. Here’s how to balance these powerful traits and establish your leadership presence authentically and effectively.

The Power of Assertiveness in Leadership

Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself confidently and stand by your decisions. As a woman of color in leadership, assertiveness is crucial in setting boundaries, advocating for yourself and your team, and navigating systemic barriers within predominantly white institutions (PWIs). Unfortunately, assertive behavior from women of color is sometimes met with resistance, as stereotypes can paint assertiveness as aggression. Understanding and owning your assertiveness can help dispel these stereotypes and establish leadership authority.

Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness empowers you to communicate your expectations, maintain boundaries, and make decisive choices. Here’s why it’s vital in leadership:

• Clear Communication
• Boundary Setting
  Effective Decision-Making
  

However, assertiveness alone is not enough; blending it with empathy makes leadership effective and sustainable.

Why Empathy Matters in Leadership

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a vital leadership skill that creates a sense of safety, belonging, and respect within a team. Women of color leaders often bring unique empathy to their roles, rooted in personal experiences and resilience. This ability to connect with others enhances communication and fosters inclusivity, but the challenge is to balance this compassion with assertiveness so that empathy doesn’t overshadow accountability and progress.

Benefits of Empathy

Here’s why empathy is crucial in leadership:

• Stronger Relationships
• Enhanced Collaboration
• Increased Retention

While empathy builds rapport and trust, balancing it with assertiveness ensures you can still make difficult decisions, maintain boundaries, and drive progress.

The Challenge of Balancing Assertiveness and Empathy

Balancing assertiveness and empathy can be incredibly complex for women of color in leadership. Societal expectations and biases often label assertive women of color as “aggressive” or “difficult,” while overly empathetic leaders may be viewed as weak or lacking authority. These pressures can make it challenging to achieve a balanced approach.

The key to balancing these qualities is to develop strategies that allow you to switch between assertive and empathetic leadership as needed, using each to strengthen the other. Here are strategies to effectively balance assertiveness and empathy in your leadership style.

Strategies for Balancing Assertiveness and Empathy

1. Define and Communicate Your Values

Knowing and communicating your core values is essential as a leader. This clarity allows you to balance assertiveness and empathy without compromising your integrity. For example, if you value inclusivity, express this openly by encouraging feedback and ideas from all team members. When you make decisions based on these values, your team can better understand the intent behind your assertive actions and empathetic responses.

Set the tone early by discussing these values with your team. Emphasize that both clear expectations (assertiveness) and open communication (empathy) are essential to your leadership approach. This clarity allows your team to understand when you make assertive decisions that protect the group’s goals and when you’re empathetic in understanding their perspectives.

2. Practice Active Listening with Clear Boundaries

Active listening shows empathy by allowing your team to feel heard, but it doesn’t mean you must agree with or accept every opinion. When engaging in active listening, create space for team members to share their thoughts without interruption. Demonstrate understanding by summarizing their points and acknowledging their feelings, but set clear boundaries on decision-making.

For instance, if a team member raises a concern, respond, “I appreciate you bringing this to my attention and understand where you’re coming from. Here’s how I plan to address this while keeping our goals on track.” This approach respects their input while reinforcing your leadership authority.

3. Use Assertive Language with a Compassionate Tone

The way you deliver a message can influence how it’s received. Use clear, assertive language in a compassionate tone to balance assertiveness and empathy. For example, instead of saying, “This needs to be done my way,” try, “I see the challenges here, but we’ll proceed with this approach to achieve our goals. I’m here to support you with any resources you need.”

This approach shows empathy for potential concerns while reinforcing assertiveness in decision-making. You maintain authority and compassion by acknowledging team members’ perspectives but staying focused on your goals.

4. Delegate Responsibly and Set Clear Expectations

Empathy in leadership involves trusting your team’s abilities. Show this trust by delegating tasks that allow them to grow while setting clear expectations to maintain accountability. For instance, if you assign a project, be empathetic in acknowledging the team member’s workload but assertive in clarifying deadlines and quality standards.

An effective way to balance empathy and assertiveness in delegation is to say, “I know this is a significant responsibility, and I trust you to handle it. Let’s discuss any support you need along the way, but I’m confident in your ability to deliver.” This approach communicates trust and understanding while reinforcing standards.

5. Model the Balance You Wish to See

As a leader, your behavior sets the tone for the team. If you want your team to embody assertiveness and empathy, model this balance in your actions. For example, show confidence in your decisions and boundaries, check in with team members regularly, and offer support.

This balanced leadership model is particularly powerful for women of color in leadership. Your ability to show strength and compassion, even in the face of bias or heightened expectations, can inspire others to embrace your authentic leadership style.

6. Reflect on Your Leadership and Seek Feedback

Balancing assertiveness and empathy is a continuous process, and reflection is key. Regularly assess situations where you may have leaned too heavily on one approach. Ask yourself questions like, “Did I assert my boundaries effectively?” or “Did I take time to understand my team’s perspective?”

Seek feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors, or even team members. Ask how they perceive your leadership balance and if there are areas for improvement. This reflection helps you grow and shows that you value continuous development, creating a more empathetic connection with your team.

The Importance of Balancing Assertiveness and Empathy as a Woman of Color Leader

As a woman of color in leadership, balancing assertiveness and empathy is more than a tactical choice—it’s a transformative way to navigate and redefine leadership in PWIs. Society often places stereotypical labels on assertive women of color, and showing empathy can sometimes be misunderstood as a weakness. Balancing both traits is a powerful approach that allows you to break through these stereotypes, demonstrating a practical and empowering leadership style.

By managing this balance, you’re leading effectively, challenging expectations, and paving the way for future leaders who see assertiveness and empathy as complementary rather than conflicting.